Cassie
Something people don't always think about is how much in-laws can impact a marriage and a family. Or maybe they don't fully realize it until they experience it themselves.
The first time I met Nick's mom, she looked me up and down. I could feel her examining whatever it was that had Nick so enamored. There was tension in her body for a moment. And then it shifted. She smiled. She hugged me. And then she started to cry.
That was when I knew she could see the beauty that Nick and I shared in our love. And that she wasn't going to fight it. She was going to be part of it.
Since that day, she has been the definition of what a mother-in-law should look like. She loves so gracefully while still giving us space. She offers help without interfering. She supports without overstepping. With six kids, we need all the hands and hearts we can get to help love on our babies. And she has never once made me feel like I was anything other than her own.
But I need to go back before Nick. Because the village that held me up started long before he was in the picture.
After Cody passed away, my parents quietly stepped into whatever role was needed to help us survive day to day life. They lived next door. And that proximity became one of the greatest blessings God could have given me during that season.
There was one night I will never forget. All four kids needed me at the same time. One had homework they couldn't figure out. One had a broken heart. Another was sick. And I was stretched so thin that I just broke. I sat down and started crying because I felt like this was not the life I was supposed to be living as an only parent. I was not built to carry all of this alone.
But I was just a phone call away. My parents walked next door and immediately the tension lifted. They didn't ask questions. They didn't make me feel weak. They just showed up and started carrying whatever I couldn't.
They came over to help with homework. They gave rides. They cooked meals. They carried pieces of our burden without ever making us feel crowded. They gave us support while still allowing us space to grieve.
What my mom did next, though, is something I didn't fully understand until later. She had been praying about a man she had never met. And one day she brought a picture of him over to me and told me she felt like I needed to be open to dating him. She believed I would eventually marry him.
That man was Nick.
My mother didn't just hold me up after I lost Cody. She helped lead me toward the life God had waiting for me next.
Nick
When Anna got really sick, my mom and dad moved here from Wichita Falls to help.
I was a head football coach at the time. Running a large 5A program. The hours were brutal and the responsibility was enormous. Learning how to be a single parent on top of that would have been nearly impossible without them.
They stepped in with so much willingness and love. They took the girls to school. They picked them up. They helped with homework. They filled in wherever they could. I have said many times that without them, I don't know how I would have continued carrying everything I had on my shoulders during that season.
My parents didn't do it for recognition. They didn't do it with conditions. They just did it because that is what family does.
And then when I met Cassie, her family did something I didn't expect. They made me feel like I was one of their own from day one. Not after a trial period. Not after I proved myself. Immediately. Her parents, her entire family, embraced me as if I had always been there.
I didn't know how much I needed that until it happened. When you lose your spouse and you start over, there is this feeling that you are walking into someone else's world. Their family. Their traditions. Their history. And you wonder if you will ever actually belong or if you will always be the outsider who showed up after the loss.
Cassie's family never let me feel that for a second.
Cassie
In the book of Ruth it tells the story of a woman who lost her husband and chose to stay by her mother-in-law Naomi's side when everyone else left. Ruth told Naomi that where she went, Ruth would go. That Naomi's people would be her people.
That is what family is supposed to look like. Not people who disappear when things get hard. People who stay. People who step closer when the world falls apart.
Nick and I are so aware that not everyone has this. Not everyone has healthy or supportive in-laws. Not everyone has parents who show up with love and humility and servant hearts. We never take for granted how blessed we are.
The older I get, the more I realize that strong families are rarely built by just two people alone. They are built by villages. People willing to step in, love hard, and carry each other through every season.
Our family was not built by Nick and me alone. It was built by every parent, every grandparent, and every person who chose to stay when staying was hard.
Know someone whose family shows up for them in ways that don't get enough credit? Send them this letter. Sometimes people need to hear that what they do matters more than they know.
Hold on.
Still standing.